What broke Bennifer? A heartbreaking end to a 20-year romance

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are reportedly ready to call it quits. Photo / Getty Images
Weeks after a source confirmed Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were planning to file for divorce, Lopez has made their split official. The Herald examines a complete timeline of their relationship – and when things first began going sour for the pair.
When Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez said “I do” on July 16, 2022, the world collectively screamed “Aww” as the couple, who had been 20 years in the making, finally crossed the finish line.
Having first met in 2001 and announcing their engagement the following year, the pair were Hollywood’s sweethearts, so it was devastating for fans when they announced just days before their nuptials, they were postponing due to the “excessive media attention”.
Unbeknown to the then-rising stars and the public, the postponement would last two decades and see Affleck and Lopez both marry and welcome children with other people. Now, after a brief three-year reunion, Lopez has officially filed for divorce.
Here is a full timeline of Bennifer’s romance:
Affleck and Lopez’s love story goes all the back to 2001 when they were cast as the lead actors in Martin Brest’s American romantic crime comedy Gigli.
The film was considered a box office failure, grossing a total of $7.5 million despite its $55m budget, but it wasn’t a complete flop and as well as sparking some feelings between the pair, it helped land them lead roles in Jersey Girl in 2002.
Picking up where they left off, Affleck and Lopez’s relationship continued to flourish and they soon began dating, with director Kevin Smith giving them the famed name “Bennifer”.
He told the Daily Mail, “It’s a name I first gave the kids during Jersey Girl pre-production, before the world found out they were dating.” He added, “I’d later drop the name in an interview with the New York Times. Shortly thereafter, it appeared in the article and then entered the vernacular.”
Later that year, Bennifer not only made their red carpet debut as a couple, but they also announced they were engaged to be married. Affleck popped the question with a 6.1-carat pink solitaire diamond.
Lopez soon immortalised their love by dedicating her song, Dear Ben, from her album, This Is Me… Then, to her soon-to-be husband.
Due to marry in September, media attention surrounding the then couple’s nuptials had reached astronomical levels and it seems it took its toll.
Just days before they were due to say “I do”, they instead released a statement announcing the postponement of their wedding. “Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date,” they said.
“When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate ‘decoy brides’ at three different locations, we realised that something was awry,” they added. “We began to feel that the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of our lives could be compromised. We felt what should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for us, our families and our friends.”
In early 2004, a representative for Lopez announced the pair had decided to part ways, “I am confirming the report that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck,” they said.
But while one engagement was called off, another was successful and Lopez went on to marry Marc Anthony that June.
As for Affleck, he found love with actress Jennifer Garner and the pair tied the knot in 2005.
In 2014, after a decade of marriage and the birth of their now-16-year-old twins, Max and Emme, Lopez and Anthony announced they were divorcing.
Shortly after becoming a single woman, she told Huffington Post about her relationship with Affleck, “I would do it all over again, I think. I really would. Even the relationship part.
“I just feel like everything is part of your story and your journey and is meant to be and helps you grow if you’re willing to look at it, and I’m willing to look.”
Then, at the 2015 Academy Awards, a reunion between the former couple took place, one that appeared to be rather flirty. Affleck reportedly “whispered in her ear” while, to the delight of fans, Lopez playfully “swatted his arm”.
In 2016, Lopez again spoke about her past relationship, telling People magazine, “I think different time different thing, who knows what could’ve happened, but there was a genuine love there, We didn’t try to have a public relationship.”
While Lopez was reminiscing on the past, Affleck meanwhile, appeared to be dealing with his own struggles.
In 2015, he and Garner announced their intention to divorce. In their decade of marriage, the pair had welcomed three children: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 11 and navigated multiple difficulties, including Affleck’s alleged affair with their nanny.
One year after announcing their divorce, Affleck suffered multiple setbacks in his battle with alcoholism, and with the support of his soon-to-be ex-wife and close friend, Garner, he would enter rehab in 2017, 2018 and 2019.
A source told People magazine following his admission in 2018 that Garner was supporting Affleck and their family as well as she knew how, “There are no secrets, and Jen is great at explaining what’s going on in ­age-appropriate ways,” they said. “She tells them [their kids] Ben is sick and needs doctors. What she ultimately cares about is his sobriety and whether she can rely on him to co-parent. She is trying to keep the father of her children alive.”
As Affleck navigated his sobriety, Lopez began dating American former professional baseball star Alex Rodriguez and in 2019, after two years of dating, the pair announced their engagement.
Planning for a 2020 wedding with their blended family, which included Lopez’s twins and Rodriguez’s two daughters with his ex-wife Cynthia Scurtis, the then-couple had to postpone their wedding twice due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
In April 2021, after five years together, Lopez suddenly called off their engagement. They released a joint statement to the Today Show at the time, “We have realised we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so.”
“We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects. We wish the best for each other and each other’s children.”
Page Six reported soon after that the split was due to Rodriguez’s affair with Southern Charm star Madison LeCroy.
By May, Lopez had seemingly moved on from her ex-fiance with Page Six reporting that Affleck had been seen multiple times visiting Lopez at her LA home. The publication claimed the pair were working hard to keep things a secret and alleged the actor reportedly got picked up by one of Lopez’ cars, then dropped off again after a visit.
“Security picks him up at a nearby location and drops him off after spending a few hours at her house,” a source said.
Soon, the internet was alight with rumours as the pair took a seemingly romantic trip to Affleck’s chalet in Montana. A source told E! News, “They really care for each other and they picked up right where they left off.”
Many more sightings of the two together came over the next few months, and in July, the pop star posted a picture of them kissing at her 52nd birthday bash, making their relationship official on Instagram.
In August, after a European vacation with their children, the couple returned to Los Angeles, with a source telling People magazine that things were getting serious between them and that they were planning to move in together.
“Their friends wouldn’t be surprised if they move in together and ultimately end up together. They’re spending all of their free time together and making each other a priority.”
Appearing to go from strength to strength behind closed doors, their public relationship also continued to strengthen and in September, much to the delight of fans, Affleck and Lopez made their red carpet debut as a couple – again.
Attending the premiere of Affleck’s film, The Last Duel at the Venice International Film Festival, the two love birds weren’t shy about showing off public affection and were seen to be very smiley and happy.
In a full circle moment, two decades after their first engagement, Lopez announced she and Affleck were once again fiances.
In a 13-second video clip posted on her official website, the star was seen crying and looking at her sparkling engagement ring before telling her husband-to-be: “You’re perfect.”
A couple of months later, in July, the A-listers tied the knot in an intimate ceremony in Las Vegas.
Sharing details of the ceremony in a subscriber-only newsletter, On the JLO, she told fans: “We did it. Love is beautiful. Love is kind. And it turns out love is patient. Twenty years patient.”
She said that she and Affleck tied the knot in “a little white wedding chapel” just after midnight. She wore “a dress from an old movie”. He wore “a jacket from his closet”.
She signed off, “Love is a great thing, maybe the best of things-and worth waiting for. With love, Mrs Jennifer Lynn Affleck.”
But that wasn’t the only ceremony for the couple, in August, they held a second, far more extravagant wedding in Georgia for their friends and family.
Once again sharing details of her special day in a newsletter, she said “Nothing ever felt more right to me, and I knew we were finally ‘settling down’ in a way you can only do when you understand loss and joy and you are battle tested enough to never take the important things for granted or let the silly insignificant nuisances of the day get in the way of embracing every precious moment.”
Months after their wedding, the cracks in Affleck and Lopez’s relationship appeared to show when they attended the Grammy Awards and were caught in a seemingly tense exchange.
Despite Affleck’s resting grump face, a source claims the couple were in good spirits throughout the evening. Lopez quickly turned to social media to do a PR clean-up the next day and insisted she had the “best time” with the Argo actor.
Lip reader reveals what was said during the tense exchange between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck that was caught on camera during The Grammys. pic.twitter.com/iWwOGQvMgd
“Always the best time with my love, my husband,” she captioned a video on Instagram. A couple of days later, she poked fun at his grumpy expression while promoting her film, AIR.
A month later, Affleck told the Hollywood Reporter it was a typical “husband-and-wife thing”.
Lopez sat down with the Herald in February to talk about her ninth studio album, This Is Me … Now and a Prime Video original she co-wrote with Affleck, This is Me … Now: A Love Story.
She opened up about rekindling her relationship with Affleck, confessing: “Some things do last forever. True love does exist.” Continuing to say that during her life she had had experiences that left her “really hurt” and “really angry” and got through them with the help of her husband.
“I credit this a bit to Ben because he helped me feel that it was okay and that I was safe and that I was loved and that I could look at those parts of myself that I wasn’t so proud of, of things that I had gone through and accept them.”
Upon its release, a scene revealed an honest conversation and tension point between the pair, where Affleck said he asked Lopez not to put their relationship on social media – he later compromised on his request.
In March, rumours about the state of the couple’s relationship began circulating and sources claimed the pair were butting heads over the purchase of their impressive California mansion.
Allegedly spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on inspection fees, the source told the New York Post, “Ben is fighting for it. He really wants this house,” the insider claimed. The Batman actor “loves” the location of the property but despite being in escrow, Lopez reportedly isn’t sold on the eight-bedroom, 14-bathroom property.
After their appearance on March 30, People magazine reported Affleck returned to Los Angeles for the filming of a sequel to his 2016 film, The Accountant. Lopez remained in NYC to film her upcoming movie, Kiss of the Spider Woman.
By May, the A-listers hadn’t been seen together since March and Lopez, a co-chair of the Met Gala, notably walked the carpet solo. It initially caused many to ask questions – including TMZ.
Two weeks later, after a lengthy stint in New York, Lopez returned to Los Angeles where she celebrated Mother’s Day with her two children – but again, noticeably without Affleck.
It was seemingly all that was needed to send the rumour mill into overdrive and soon, sources began speaking out. One close to the couple told InTouch, Lopez and Affleck are “unable to make it work” and are considering divorce.
“The writing is on the wall – it’s over,” the insider alleged. They added Affleck has moved out of their US$60m home, and “they’re headed for a divorce – and for once, [Ben’s] not to blame!”
Another source told Us Weekly that Affleck was no longer living in the couple’s home and had moved out “several weeks ago”, while Daily Mail reported Affleck had been seen without his wedding ring several times during the month.
Despite being seen together twice after the rumours began circulating, a source insisted the pair weren’t getting along and told Page Six, “He [Affleck] feels like the last two years was just a fever dream, and he’s come to his senses now and understands there is just no way this is going to work.”
On June 1, Lopez announced she was cancelling her This Is Me… Live tour, which was due to kick off in July, with her representatives saying she is “taking time off” to be with her “children family and close friends”.
Soon after, she and Affleck publicly listed their Beverly Hills mansion with real estate agent Santiago Arana from The Agency, a mansion they had spent two years searching for.
A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo)
All eyes were on the A-listers, who appeared more estranged than ever and many noticed the two spent their second wedding anniversary apart. Soon after, Lopez also celebrated her 55th birthday without Affleck.
At the time, it was unclear why the Last Duel star was absent from his wife’s royal-themed birthday in the Hamptons, however Daily Mail has since reported the actor was busy purchasing a new US$20.5m “bachelor pad” in California in what a source said is a “stab to the heart” for his wife.
Multiple sources confirmed to the Daily Mail yesterday, that after weeks of attempting to save their relationship, Affleck and Lopez have allegedly made the call to separate for good.
“They finalised the divorce papers with her a month ago, but are waiting for the right time to drop them,” one source claimed. They added, “At that time, they will release a joint statement that will say how they have much love for each other and how they fought to make it work, but couldn’t.”
Another told the news outlet, “Honestly, in the end they could not come to a compromise. What they had before is gone and they have both accepted it.”
The stars are yet to make a formal statement.
#JLo has filed for divorce from #BenAffleck 💔 pic.twitter.com/NYYAlsjuz6
TMZ reported that Lopez, 55, filed on Tuesday (local time) in Los Angeles County Superior Court. It’s understood she submitted the documents pro per – meaning by herself and without a lawyer present.
Court documents from August 20 were obtained by Today.com and the filing was confirmed by an NBC news source.
Lopez listed the date of separation as April 26, 2024, TMZ reports.
Citing insider sources, both TMZ and Page Six have claimed there is no prenuptial agreement and that the documents do not specify whether a prenup is in place.
The former couple have reportedly been trying to negotiate a settlement for months, but the ongoing talks have allegedly caused their relationship to sour.
Speaking to People magazine, a source said Lopez and Affleck mutually decided “it’s time to move on” for various reasons.
“She’s very disappointed and sad, but Ben hasn’t given her any signs that he wants to continue their marriage. He hasn’t shown any commitment and interest in making their marriage work. It’s gotten to the point that she just needs to look out for herself.”
Lillie Rohan is a London-based reporter covering lifestyle and entertainment stories who joined the Herald in 2020. She specialises in all things reality TV, films and music.